Cut, Stapled, and Mended by Roanna Rosewood

Author:Roanna Rosewood
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: White Cloud Press
Published: 2013-04-19T00:00:00+00:00

And so it has been for more than a year. Over. I haven’t talked about Jonah’s entry into the world. I haven’t even thought about birth, until now, these soft April days following that silly Orgasmic Amazon Queen Sex, which seems to have left me all aflutter.

It must be hormonal, this daydreaming of a little girl.Why would I want to host another person in my body for nine months, to increase my body weight by 40 percent while giving up simple pleasures like a glass of wine and the flexibility to easily wipe my own butt? And after all that, I would still have to get the baby out.

Filling the prescription the pediatrician handed me is the logical thing to do.

Instead I prop it up on my dresser. Sometimes I put it inside a drawer. Sometimes I carry it in my pocket. The one thing I never do is fill it.

If I were to acknowledge my fancies, I would confess I’m holding out hope that the completely irrational but beautiful experience was real. And even though I’m not the sort of person who has intuitive, come-to-goddess experiences, taking a pill that would prevent the possibility of being that kind of person—now that would be dumb.

So it’s with purposeful indifference that, two and a half weeks after Orgasmic Amazon Queen Sex, I take a pregnancy test. I’m not exactly sure when to expect my period, but I am good at math. Since fertility occurs two weeks before a cycle, either I’m pregnant now or Orgasmic Amazon Sex happened before I was fertile. Luckily, there is an unused pregnancy test hiding behind the towels in the linen closet. It’s only slightly expired.

One pink line. I’m not pregnant.

I’m relieved. Really. I am. Though I did love being pregnant: my stomach growing big, the pleasure of letting it all hang out, feeling beautiful and round at the same time, the wonder of a baby wiggling and rolling inside my body, alive, just inches below my skin but worlds away. A little girl would have been sweet.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.